top of page
  • Writer's pictureWendy

What are your "non-negotiables"?

What does this mean to you? What are the first things you think about when you hear me ask you about your non-negotiables? Reflect on this for a minute. Non-negotiables are anything that you need to live, survive, and yes to ENJOY your life. Having non-negotiable in your life is a necessity because it is saying I am choosing to honour ME. Choosing to honour who you are is not selfish it is your responsibility while you are here on earth. When you choose not to honour yourself, you feel it. Life can feel intense, out of balance, overwhelming, frustrating, painful…etc.Have you ever felt guilty for doing something you have wanted to do? Why? Because you put you first? Think about that and about how silly that really is.Answer me this, when you are fulfilled, I mean truly fulfilled do you feel pissed off, taken advantage of, or resentful? Absolutely not, right! So how can it not make sense to put you first, to make sure you have everything you need and desire on a heart level, so you can live and go through life feeling loved, supported and fulfilled. Living life from this place not only creates joyful experiences it also allows you to give others so much more. It is a win-win!I believe we have it all backward because many people are living in a vicious cycle of putting others needs before themselves. They feel guilty taking any time out of their crazy busy life to just do things for them!Living like this can create so much pain, overwhelm, anxiety and stress. Can you relate?This used to be how my life was, I had no idea what it meant to have non-negotiable (boundaries) in my life. I was like an open door that gave and gave until I could no longer give anymore. This is when I would have breakdown and cry until I had no tears left to cry and I felt numb to life. So what are your non-negotiables? What do you need to be, feel, experience and do on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis to feed your soul? The clearer you become on what your non-negotiables are in life the clearer you will start feeling and experiencing more freedom. Step #1 is becoming clear on what you need/want to feel content. This can be many things from having time in the morning to have a cup of coffee and relax to and it is for all areas of your life, work, personal, friendships, partners, yourself, etc. This will also change as you change and that is ok.


3 Simple Steps to Get Clearer on your Non-Negotiables

Find a quiet place where you can have space to go inward and reflect on these questions. Have a tea/coffee/water, a pen and paper beside you. Get comfortable and dive into these reflection questions. The more you go into them the clearer you will become. Make a list for each of these questions.

1) What things make you feel alive? Why? What do you need to feel/experience every day for you to be content?

2) What do you need to see and feel from people in your life in order to feel loved, safe and respected?

3) Ask yourself what do I need for my sanity? What does that look like? What action steps can I start taking today?

Once you have become clear on your answers take some time to integrate what you have written. Your non-negotiables are things that you can bring into your life or the things that you will accept or not accept from others. The clearer you get on what YOU truly need you will start seeing the areas you are allowing things and people in that are actually not ok with you. Use your emotions to guide you.If you are desiring more clarity, support, and guidance, I invite you to connect with me for a free 30-minute Soul Therapy consultation with me. We can see where and how I can really support you on your journey of inner connection and healing. This is YOUR life, how do you want to experience it?



bottom of page