What Happens Inside You When You Get Close to What You Want?
Most of us have things we want in our lives.
Maybe it’s more ease with money, a relationship that feels different, work that feels meaningful, more confidence, more support, more rest, a change we’ve been thinking about for a long time, or simply wanting to feel differently inside the life we’re already living.
Sometimes we know exactly what we want. We can picture it, think about it, journal about it, make plans for it, and tell ourselves that this is the direction we want to move in.
But there’s another piece I think is really worth getting curious about.
What happens inside of you when you imagine actually having it?
Because wanting something and feeling available for it are not always the same thing.
There can be so much happening underneath the want that we don’t notice right away. Thoughts, beliefs, fear, old stories, protection, past experiences, little inner contractions we’ve learned to move around without even realizing we’re doing it.
And that can be the piece that matters most.
We can spend so much time trying to figure out how to get where we want to go, while something inside us is quietly shaping what feels possible, safe, familiar, or allowed.
That’s the place I’m interested in.
Think about something like support.
You can genuinely want more support in your life and still notice that when someone offers to help, part of you immediately wants to say, “No, I’ve got it.” You might feel uncomfortable needing anything, worry that you’re asking too much, or simply be so used to carrying things yourself that receiving feels strangely vulnerable.
The same thing can happen with love, money, visibility, rest, change, or any of the other things we deeply want.
We can move toward something and then feel ourselves hesitate when it gets close enough to actually touch us.
The reaction can be loud, but it can also be so subtle that we barely notice it. A thought. A tightening in the body. A reason why now isn’t the right time. A sudden urge to pull back. A story about why it probably won’t work anyway.
And this is where I think curiosity becomes so powerful.
Instead of only asking, “How do I get what I want?” we can begin asking:
“What happens inside me when I get close to it?”
That question opens a very different conversation with ourselves.
Because once we start noticing what happens inside us, we can begin to see some of the quieter things that have been shaping our choices all along.
An old belief can sit underneath the surface for years. A story can become so familiar that it stops feeling like a story and simply feels true. And there can be ways we learned to protect ourselves that made complete sense at one point, but still influence what we reach for, what we allow ourselves to receive, what we talk ourselves out of, and what feels possible now.
This is where I think the work becomes really tender.
When we can see what is happening underneath, we have a chance to meet it differently.
We can get curious about what that part of us has been holding, what it learned, and what it may need from us now.
Simply seeing the pattern can begin to change our relationship with it.
There is more choice.
More space.
More room to decide how we want to meet ourselves and move forward.
I think this is why we can know what we want and still feel confused when we keep circling the same places.
We tend to look outward for the next step. What do I need to do? What decision do I need to make? How do I finally make this happen?
And there are absolutely times when that is exactly what is needed.
There are also moments when the next step is to turn inward for a minute and notice what happens when the thing we want starts to feel real.
So think about one thing you want right now and let yourself imagine that it is actually here.
You don’t have to figure out how you got there. Just let yourself be with the possibility of it for a moment.
Notice what happens.
You might feel excitement or ease. You might notice a tiny hesitation, a thought that arrives almost immediately, or something in your body that shifts before you even have words for it.
You’re simply listening a little more closely to yourself.
Because there can be information in that moment that we miss when we’re busy trying to push ourselves toward the next thing.
And that information can tell us a lot about what is really asking for our attention.
Once you begin noticing those quieter reactions, you can start meeting them with a little more honesty and a lot less pressure.
You may realize that the thing getting in the way isn’t a lack of desire at all. It could be an old story about what you’re allowed to have, what feels safe to receive, or what you learned to expect from life.
That awareness doesn’t mean everything changes overnight.
But it does give you something you didn’t have before.
A clearer view of what has been shaping the moment.
And from there, you can begin asking yourself a different kind of question:
How do I want to meet myself here now?
That question matters to me because so much of this work is about seeing ourselves more clearly, understanding what has been running quietly underneath, and giving ourselves the chance to choose differently from the woman we are now.
That is where something new can begin.
More love, not less. 🩷
Love,
Wendy
Wendy Anne Walker
Licensed Soul Therapist™
Want to explore this a little deeper?
If something in this brought your attention to a place you’ve been circling in your own life, this is exactly the kind of space we’ll be exploring inside my upcoming four-week online container, What’s Really in the Way of What You Want?
We’ll begin with one thing you really want and gently explore what may be underneath it, including the belief that may be shaping what feels possible, the protection that may have formed around it, and how you want to meet yourself differently now.
We begin Tuesday, October 6.
If you’d like to join us, you’re always welcome to message me or reach out through the details on the page. 🩷
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